Thursday, January 2, 2014

Things I've Learned

As I sat making a list of resolutions for this year I realized how mundane the act really was.  I found my promises to myself boring and reminiscent of every other December for the past five years.  Lose thirty pounds, stop watching so much television… The boring list goes on and on.  I’d much rather focus on the lessons I’ve learned and use them to push me along.  Maybe that was my problem in the past; I didn’t use what I’d learned to help me accomplish new things.  So I guess that is my resolution for this year and years to come: grow from what I’ve learned.

1.      Stop being my biggest enemy. 

Picking on myself and noticing the muffin top or extra inches doesn’t help me get healthier.  I look in the mirror and see all the weight I’ve gained since high school.  My husband, and that creepy guy downtown and the produce market, look at me as if I were the most beautiful woman they’ve ever laid eyes on.  Instead of vowing to lose all the extra weight, I’ve decided to go for a walk at least twice a week and pack my breakfast and lunch when I work. 

2.      Write and/or edit my work every day.

I always say that I’ll finish editing my book this year and finally start submitting queries.  Then two weeks have gone by and I’ve done nothing but pass out on the couch after a Doctor Who or Supernatural marathon once I’ve put my daughter to bed.  At least if I write and edit SOMETHING every day it will eventually come to fruition.  People are waiting for the final entry to the Perry Series.

3.     Be proud of my writing.

I’m not one of those women who shoot down compliments.  If you tell me how nice my shirt looks I just smile and say thanks.  I don’t go on and on about how old it is or how I didn’t have time to iron it.  But if you ask me about my writing, I’ll sometimes shy away and change the subject.  I’m a freaking published writer.  No more hiding it!

4.      Be happy now.

My inner depressed person would say things like: when I lose weight I’ll feel more comfortable;  when I’m a successful, published author I’ll be able to do the things I love; when I have a better job I’ll be happier.  Have you ever heard anything so sad?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and my family.  But that sad person in me always tried to make me wait to be happy.  No more of that.  I am too blessed to wait to be happy.  The sun shines when my daughter smiles and my husband’s laugh is like music. I’m pretty awesome too!

5.      It can’t rain all the time.

If we didn’t experience crappy things in our lives we wouldn’t enjoy the sunshine.  But in the past year I’ve learned to find joy in the rain.  The joy is always present just waiting to be discovered. 

 

My goals are clear in my mind and I have no doubt I’ll do all the things I set my mind and my heart to, but life doesn’t have to be put on hold until it happens.  That lesson is second nature to a lot of people, but some of us have to work at it.  Some years ago depression found me and hung around my neck like a noose for too long.  I won’t let that happen again.  The person I’ve grown into smiles and laughs even when there seems to be no way out.  Because I know that there is always a way out.  It comes.  You just have to weather the storm and dance in the rain until it does.  And even before the storm has passed, you’ve learned to let the rain nourish your soul so that when the sun does shine your blooming is inevitable. 

These are the lessons that I hold close to my heart and ever present in my mind.  With them there is nothing that I can’t do.  And I am so blessed to finally know this.
 
 

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