All I can hear in my head is Wild Bill from Silence of the
Lambs scream at my hubby, “It writes the floss on the market list!” in his best
It puts the lotion in the basket
voice. But that’s neither here nor there. Those are just the weird things that
go floating around in my brain from time to time.
But I digress.
I go searching through the bathroom closet looking for those
little hand-held plastic flossing thingies. I know I picked some up at a dollar
store a few weeks ago for two bucks.
Finally, after like one whole minute of searching I find
them; sitting on top of my hair supplies like it owns them. I pull out a few
and get to work, finding bits of carrots and pepperoni hiding. I get between
the last two teeth at the back of my mouth, right side, and force the floss
down.
Side note: I had braces when I was younger and now only use
the Glide Floss. You could probably string a guitar with that stuff but it fits
between my teeth. They are weirdly close together in that one spot in the back.
Moving on.
After forcing the floss between the teeth and gently sliding
up and down and back and forth, I try to pull the floss free.
It decides it wants to hang around for a bit.
So, I start (gently) pulling and the freakin’ floss is still
(gently) refusing to budge. I stand there for a minute, drooling while the
plastic floss thing is hanging halfway out of my mouth. I'm going to 'go hard' and yank it free. What’s the worst that
could happen?
After yanking and damn near snatching my teeth out of my
head, I silently scream so that I won’t wake my daughter and continue drooling like
a wild animal that just had two teeth pulled out. Needless to say, the dentist
is going to get a visit from yours truly this week. I think I did some damage.
Moral to the story: there isn’t one. It’s now almost four in
the morning and I’m sleepy.
Just sharing!
